Enneagram Pairing Type 1 & 8
1 - The Moralist
Quality Control Specialist, Reformer, Perfectionist, Judge, Administrator, Rule Keeper, Crusader
8 - The Protective Challenger
Protector, Alpha Leader, Champion, Maverick, Commander, Negotiator, Boss
Ones and Eights are both in the Gut Center and need autonomy and independence. Eights assertively attempt to control while Ones try to prove themselves worthy. Eights are motivated by justice and power, while Ones are motivated by order and morality.
Ones are present, attentive, detail-oriented, and upstanding. Eights are passionate, grounded, emotional, and protective. Ones tend to become overly critical and perfectionistic when under pressure, while Eights can be demanding, controlling, or bullying.
Ones and Eights both feel compelled to fight for truth and justice. They both think that it is up to them to stand up to injustice, tyranny, and falsehoods. Both often see themselves as warriors righting the wrongs of the world. Both Eights and Ones are incredibly strong-willed and determined.
Eights respect people they can't easily run over and thus admire Ones steadfast commitment to their principles. Similarly, Ones appreciate people who are true to their word and stand up for what they believe in.
How You Complement Each Other
This can be a powerful pairing that moves with a strong sense of purpose and mission. Both Ones and Eights are focused, practical, action-oriented people, who are willing to make great sacrifices and persevere through hardship to carry out what they feel is their purpose in the world. Both place a strong emphasis on fairness — Ones concerning their abstract principles and ideals and Eights for concrete use of force and power.
While Eights expect to do things their way, Ones want to do things the right direction. Both are decisive and direct, although Eights bring a passion and fieriness that counterbalances the way One's’ restraint. These types have a lot to learn from each other’s opposite approaches to arriving at the strength of character, and likely can because there will be a lot of respect and admiration between these two.
Generally, Eights display their power through earthy aggression and by protecting the people they care for. Ones demonstrate their noble character through self-restraint, decisiveness, and showing up for their commitments. Ones can appreciate Eights strength, leadership, determination, directness, and generosity.
Eights can appreciate Ones high ethical standards, drive for improvement, diligence, fair-mindedness, and detail orientation. To the relationship, Ones bring an awareness of what is right in the eyes of the world, the ability for abstraction and far-off details, and high-mindedness, while Eights will bring a necessary embodiment, daring, and social intelligence. This pairing can prove to be highly productive, driven, and respected, likely with a far-reaching social network and ability to persuade, organize and accomplish.
How You Can Get Into Trouble
Eights and Ones are sometimes said to be like fire and ice, and indeed, there are some very plain, possibly destructive, distinctions between the two. One of their biggest challenges is that they both like to be in control. They both have big worldly ambitions but have very different means of attaining their goals.
While Ones admire how Eights brashly and doggedly go after what they want, at some point the methods of the Eight crosses the line of what Ones consider to be ethically sound. If Ones see Eights as too impulsive, reckless, insensitive and morally corrupt, there is bound to be conflict, as Ones are very stubborn in altering their judgments once they've made them.
Even if Eights do not cross Ones moral red lines in the sand, Ones may resent the chaos and disorder Eights create by continually pushing the limits and boundaries, and the responsibility Ones then feel to clean up their messes.
Additionally, Eight’s bravado, raw emotionality, and intensity can seem like too much of a chaotic liability for the prim, ordered, restrained One. Conversely, Eights will likely see Ones as rigid, self-righteous, overly critical and naive about how the world works. They will feel hemmed in, judged, and scapegoated by Ones perfection-orientation, which will result in angry, heated outbursts, and likely much blame being thrown around.
Furthermore, Eights often take pleasure in being provocative, and once they've figured out where Ones’ hot buttons are, they may continue to push them for humor, dominance, or to stir the pot. At its foundation, Eight desires to see One break their perfect exterior, become messy and make mistakes, as that would only be fair. When there is tension in this relationship, it is difficult to unravel because both struggle with coming from an openhearted, emotionally vulnerable place. Neither backs down easily and both will move first to anger and blame before acknowledging their pain, fear or mistakes. Their first-strike mentality often leads to an escalation of violent energy that is difficult to repair, and once a rupture breaks the connection, forgiveness can be very hard for both parties to find.
What Each Type Needs To Be Aware Of
Ones need to be aware of their rigidity around 'right and wrong' and 'good and bad,' their sensitivity to criticism, and the suppression of their desires. Eights need to be aware of their tendency to adopt the thinking 'my way or the highway.’ As well, Eights can become blind to the strength of their impact on others, partly demonstrated by how quickly they move to action before reflecting on how others might feel about their actions.
Both types should be aware of their tendency toward black and white thinking. These two will likely come together based on their shared appreciation of hard work, and their mutual commitment to getting practical results. Because of their intense inner critic, Ones view anger negatively and are bothered by enraged outbursts.
It helps if Eights and Ones can come to an understanding that some anger is okay. This means that Ones allow themselves to vent on occasion and Eights make an effort to control their more volatile outbursts. What’s more, bear in mind that Eights require clarity, measurable goals, and forthcoming communication; otherwise, they may become destructive and challenging. Ones want precision in all things, a moral “why” to motivate their actions, and an opportunity to state their opinions.
How You Can Support One Another
Ones can develop an appreciation for Eights' impulsive move towards action and see how they could benefit from loosening up their self-restraint. Ones can work on expressing their own needs and desires better, especially their anger, rather than letting resentment build. Eights can learn to be more patient with Ones' concerns and reservations. In a confrontation, the One should stand up to the Eight. Eights can see those who don’t as weak and not worthy of respect.
Moreover, Ones can assist Eights in determining when they are pushing too much or what the appropriate response in a given situation should be. Eights can help Ones by encouraging them to lighten up when they get too serious. Ones will be disappointed if they expect Eights to follow the rules because while Eights are inclined toward justice, they often play by their own rules to accomplish their goals.
Ones will do better by evaluating Eights based on their productive output and allowing them to take whatever road they’d like to get there. If Ones can be lenient with the application of the rules, it will support the health of this relationship, and if Eights can adopt strategies to articulate their frustration in productive, as opposed to explosive ways, Ones will be more likely to remain flexible and open to their ideas.
In A Romantic Context
Drawn toward one another by their stark personality differences but a shared sense of fairness, these two are another excellent example of opposites attracting. That being said, this is a relatively uncommon romantic pairing because of its explosiveness. When healthy, these two are driven by a strong desire to fight for justice, to right the wrongs of the world, and to live boldly by their principals.
They can hold the belief that it’s their unique purpose to defeat the falsehoods and injustices in the world, and will be attracted to this quality in each other. There will be much power between these two, and a next-level ability to get things done. They will feel a strange combination of mystified and attracted, as well, due to their fundamental differences.
Eights are lusty, bold, earthy, and aggressive—all things a One would never allow themselves to be, even if they felt the urge. Also, Ones are strong-willed enough to withstand Eights’ storminess, which inspires a sense of admiration and awe in the Eight.
The combination of self-restraint (Ones), bold action (Eights), and morality (both) can make these two a dynamic, if not tumultuous, team. Also, if they fall on tumult, it is the very things that drew them together that eventually tear them apart; namely, their staunch adherence to “my way,” and their distinctly opposing natures.
To hold tight to their moral convictions, Ones will deny themselves pleasure and clamp down their expression, whereas Eights have no problem behaving wildly and brazenly, both in public and private. If Eights go too far, Ones will revoke their respect, feeling their partner has crossed the line into self-interested, morally corrupt, or extravagant territory.
Conversely, Eights will find Ones staunch public appearance to be hypocritical after they get to know them, and will stop at nothing to break their self-righteous, perfect exterior. Eights want to provoke while Ones want to contain, but both feel a seething anger building.
Also, more detrimentally, in their anger, both become rigidly attached to their way of doing things. Callous violence unfolds, and the relationship can no longer tolerate its participants. After a certain amount of abuse has been administered, there is nothing left for either person to do besides leave.