Enneagram Pairing Type 2 & 2

2 - The Nurturing Advisor

Helper, Giver, Caretaker Nurturer, Advisor, Altruist, Good Samaratian


2 - The Nurturing Advisor

Helper, Giver, Caretaker Nurturer, Advisor, Altruist, Good Samaratian

Core Pattern

Twos are inherently warm, positive, and emotionally sensitive. They can be flexible and affectionate with people, and spend a great deal of energy supporting and nurturing the health of all their relationship.


They are motivated by a desire to make the world a more loving, compassionate place. They believe being of service makes them needed.


Shared Values

Twos are part of the Heart Triad, and the most emotionally available of said Triad. Twos value generosity, kind-heartedness, warmth, and taking care of others.


Often very charitable, Twos will go to great lengths to take care of those they love. They appreciate optimism, flexibility, and empathy.


How You Complement Each Other

A combination of Twos can work well when both are working on and giving to a shared project. It helps if each of them has a similarly important role to play. This pair is hallmarked by the quality of their communication with each other and ease at which they express their mutual affection.


They are great at knowing just how the other is doing, what is going on their life, and what their needs are. They enjoy supporting each other with whatever they need. They are thoughtful, generous and respectful. Both of them are used to be the ones giving more rather than receiving in their relationships, so letting in all the support directed their way can be an adjustment.


They are often able to forge a very secure and loyal bond that gives them strength in all areas of their life. These two will find they are sometimes in lockstep with each other, and sometimes feel overwhelmed by the level of care or attention they are receiving.


Additionally, because Twos want to be needed by their loved ones, their characteristic care-taking can end up stepping on each other’s toes. Generally, this pair will be full of warmth, brightness, and uncanny emotional intuition.


How You Can Get Into Trouble

Twos can have insecurities regarding their self-worth and thus be preoccupied with gaining validation from others. These two need to watch out for becoming jealous and competitive with each other about who is most needed, loved, and relied upon. When a Two feels they cannot somehow serve or take care of a situation, they fear their value will decrease, and they will be rejected from their communities.


For this reason, when one Two feels threatened by another, the competition can escalate to a high level of manipulation, subtle vies for attention, and cajoling. Twos are remarkably flattering when they want something, and they take pride in being able to serve people well. While beautiful most of the time, this behavior can turn dark if one person feels like their efforts are being thwarted, and their secure place in people’s hearts threatened.


Additionally, by being so naturally focused on the needs of others, Twos often neglect their own. This can lead to feelings of being unappreciated, unfulfilled and disconnected. This may lead to angry, emotional outbursts and feelings of rejection.


What Each Type Needs To Be Aware Of

The most important thing to be mindful of with Twos is that, even though their generosity appears selfless, it is often motivated by a deep-seated need to be needed. Twos believe that if they make themselves indispensable, they will feel loved and accepted by their tribe. Furthermore, Twos often take an unconscious pride in how giving they are, and they usually have a running list of favors they’ve done for others.


This not because they want to be paid back, but because if someone ever crosses them, or refuses to acknowledge them, Twos want to be ready to rub their goodness in the other person’s face. This can become complicated with two Twos, who will very likely be competing for the same affections, the same attention, and the same place in people’s hearts. It can also become a problem with one another, as these two will always hold their list over the other’s head, even if entirely unconsciously.


How You Can Support One Another

When in a professional environment, it is a good idea to involve Twos in specific tasks and recognize their contribution in the workplace to guard against their feeling left out or taken for granted. Twos will happily step up and do the job others don’t want to, and they will also attend to a lot of the unspoken jobs around the office, like wiping bathroom countertops, handling inter-office politics, being others’ shoulder to cry on, and remembering birthdays.


Also, while they gladly, if not a little compulsively, do these things, they also want to be acknowledged—whether they were asked to do them or not. This is the number one way to support Twos. Independent from that, Twos need to put reliable energy into developing their independent self, autonomy, and separateness.


With one another, Twos can support each other in doing this by offering gentle suggestions, empathy, and leading by example. Twos benefit from getting in touch with their own needs and desires and expressing them to others in an environment where they will be heard and accepted.


With one another, providing a safe listening space and encouragement will be a primary way to support each other. Furthermore, Twos struggle to receive from others—they only want to give—and so these two can support each other by inviting more receptivity, acceptance, and enjoyment of life’s gifts.


In A Romantic Context

The attraction with these two is the high level of warmth, affection, and sensitivity they will share. For Twos, being related comes naturally, and so these two take to their relationship like fish to water. They can easily add the other person to their lives, and they have all the time in the world to talk about how each other’s days went, their health, the state of their heart, and how things are going with so-and-so or such-and-such.


With each other, they are kind, generous, and genuinely warm-hearted. They are also respectful of boundaries, especially at higher levels of health, and can find the right balance between being alone and being with each other.


These two will probably run into problems eventually, though, as Twos are notoriously bad at accepting care from others. As a Two’s mission in life is to care for their loved ones, and one of their loved ones in this circumstance is a Two who struggles to accept care, things can become difficult. To have their attention rejected or unappreciated is a significant blow to a Two’s self-esteem, so without even being aware of it, these two might become trapped by their own giving natures.


Twos tend to be very aware of their sex-appeal, and in a romantic relationship on the brink of turning sour, it’s likely two Twos will engage in some sexual games—whether flaunting or withholding—perhaps without even realizing it. Twos can also become manipulative, using their apparent goodness and all the nice things they’ve done as leverage to coax what they want out of their partner. Also, when it doesn’t work, they can withdraw love quickly and painfully.


However, if a lot of the Twos’ identity centers around the attention they can garner from others, these two can fall into a cycle of escalating issues. They get increasingly “sicker” or less and less mentally stable or have a series of unfortunate mini-disasters, all aimed at keeping the fever-pitch level of attention from their partner and the world at large.


This behavior can become competitive and breeds lies. Enmeshed but repulsed by each others behavior, these two will spiral down, unable to break it off because they so crave the attention and validation, but also unable to return to a state of cherishing each other.

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Max Marmer

Max Marmer is a Multidimensional Entrepreneur, Investor, Writer, Coach, Biohacker and Systems Theorist dedicated to supporting and enabling the flourishing of humanity in the 21st century.