Enneagram Pairing Type 3 & 7

3 - The Successful Achiever

Superstar, Producer, Performer, Motivator, Role Model, Ideal Exemplar, Best in Show


7 - The Entertaining Optimist

Epicure, Visionary, Enthusiast, Jack-of-All-Trades, Adventurer, Innovator, Dilettante

Core Pattern

Both Threes and Sevens are sociable, high-energy, and enthusiastic. They are also both assertive types, which means they typically make demands of others and themselves to get what they need. Sevens’ primary patterning is around avoiding negative thoughts and feelings by engaging with ever-more new and exciting feelings, and Threes’ is around proving their worthiness through work and accomplishing ever more significant achievements.


Shared Values

Both Threes and Sevens love high-energy experiences and people, adventure, and working hard to support living their best lives. They value engagement, vitality, a sense of possibility, and striving to attain the good life. They are also both positive and encouraging, with a strong ability to multitask.


How You Complement Each Other

This is a very dynamic, high-energy team: in fact, it is the most energetic pairing in the Enneagram. The Three-Seven combo is upbeat, adventurous, confident, and life-affirming. There can be real electricity between these two.


Sevens bring a breadth of knowledge, boundless enthusiasm, and resilience to the pair, while Threes bring a unique ability to socialize and connect with others, goal-orientation and focus, and a sense of propriety and appropriate boundaries. From the Seven, the Three can learn about taking failures in stride, spontaneity, and not taking life too seriously.


Conversely, the Seven can learn about setting and achieving goals, practicality and grounded visioning, and observing reasonable limits. Both parties will strive to achieve their goals and accomplish their dreams, but where the Seven loses steam and becomes bored, the Three will persevere.


Alternatively, where the Three feels hemmed in by self-consciousness, the Seven will confidently and boldly try and fail and try again. Because these two can match each other in stamina and energy output, and how they complement each other, this pair has the potential to be a genuine powerhouse, with each type becoming the best version of themselves.


How You Can Get Into Trouble

The most pervasive way these two will struggle is in the way they deal with their stressors. Sevens are stressed by feeling bored or trapped, being forced to confront something mundane or painful, and not having options, while Threes are stressed by deadlines, the possibility of failure, and deep insecurity. When stressed, Sevens become gluttonous and selfish, with little regard for what they're consuming or who they're hurting.


When Threes are stressed, they become braggadocios workaholics. When this happens, Sevens will see Threes as their captors or the person responsible for taking away the fun. Threes will see Sevens as escapist, lazy, and impulsive.


The other pervading trouble area for these two is feelings, namely that neither one likes to talk about them. Both Threes and Sevens are masters of avoiding their negative or painful feelings with work, distractions, and subterfuge. If there is a problem here, neither person will bring it up; and if it does make it's way into the open, neither the Three nor the Seven will be very forthcoming in talking about it or taking responsibility.


What Each Type Needs To Be Aware Of

The most pervasive way these two will struggle is in the way they deal with their stressors. Sevens are stressed by feeling bored or trapped, being forced to confront something mundane or painful, and not having options, while Threes are stressed by deadlines, the possibility of failure, and deep insecurity. When stressed, Sevens become gluttonous and selfish, with little regard for what they're consuming or who they're hurting.


When Threes are stressed, they become braggadocios workaholics. When this happens, Sevens will see Threes as their captors or the person responsible for taking away the fun. Threes will see Sevens as escapist, lazy, and impulsive.


The other pervading trouble area for these two is feelings, namely that neither one likes to talk about them. Both Threes and Sevens are masters of avoiding their negative or painful feelings with work, distractions, and subterfuge. If there is a problem here, neither person will bring it up; and if it does make it's way into the open, neither the Three nor the Seven will be very forthcoming in talking about it or taking responsibility.


How You Can Support One Another

The most supportive thing these two can do for the other is to model vulnerability. As both Threes and Sevens struggle with exposing their underbellies and talking about their feelings, an excellent way to encourage positive growth would be to get the ball rolling on that front. Having a comrade in arms, so to speak, will help one another to soften and become more honest.


More specifically, Sevens can support Threes by encouraging spontaneity, play, and genuine confidence, all noteworthy skills of high functioning Sevens. Threes can support Sevens with the more practical side of life, such as making and executing a good plan, setting goals, making sensible decisions, and staying focused.


These two have a nice yin and yang of hard work and hard play, and each can benefit from the others skill set. With one another's support, its possible for each type to become very well-rounded, down to earth, and joyful.


In A Romantic Context

This is a dynamic, vivacious, high-energy couple. They exude positivity, adventure, and pleasure, but they know how to get down to business and get the job done when the moment calls for it. They are social and cultured, and often enjoy a wide number of activities, different kinds of people, and daring adventures. They are typically accomplished, lively, and curious, with a lust for life and a penchant for finding new and exciting things to do.


To this romance, the Three brings a sense of groundedness and a solid work ethic, while the Seven offers enthusiasm, innovative ideas, and always-fun adventures. However, in many ways, this electricity can be too much for one household. The danger with these two is that they can exhaust themselves from continually trying to live up to their hype.


Sevens are gluttons and don’t have much in the way of healthy limits, while Threes are all about appearances so stopping the epic lifestyle would be bad for their image: a reality that can lead to both of these types pushing themselves well beyond their limitations. They can lose connection to their genuine needs and desires, and like this, each other.


Moreover, because neither party wants to be the bad guy or name their negative feelings, everything will continue business as usual, but without the spark and genuine connection that made it worthwhile and with an added dimension of fatigue. This can prompt a spiral into negative coping, where Threes start spending more and more time at work and Sevens revert to their escapist tendencies. Once this happens, the Seven will begin to feel their Three partners are holding them back or keeping them from having fun—cardinal sins for the Seven—and the Three will start to see their partner as flighty, noncommittal, and selfish.


The Seven can begin to feel like they are sacrificing too many good times for their partner’s career and Threes can become envious of the Seven’s natural confidence (because remember, Threes have very low self-esteem, despite appearances). However, since neither party wants to own up to their negative qualities, discuss their unspoken needs and feelings, or take responsibility for the trouble, none of these notions make it out into the open.


As bright as this relationship can be as dark as it can get when things start to go wrong. It’s imperative these two keep talking about everything—the good, bad, and ugly—with one another and that each feels they are getting what they need from the relationship.


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