Enneagram Pairing Type 5 & 5

5 - The Investigative Thinker

Investigator, Observer, Expert, Scientist, Analyst, Specialist, Hermit


5 - The Investigative Thinker

Investigator, Observer, Expert, Scientist, Analyst, Specialist, Hermit

Core Pattern

Fives are in the Thinking triad. They tend to be keenly observing, analytical, and objective. Fives often feel attacked, neglected, or out of place in a harsh world, and use their intellectualization as a solace from their suffering. They can be hermetic or social but always engage from a heady place.


Shared Values

Like any double pairing, there will be a lot shared between two Fives. Fives value objectivity, innovation, creative thinking, imagination, rationality, and science. They also value solitude and uninterrupted time to work and process. They require space and appreciate privacy.


How You Complement Each Other

A double Five relationship can highlight Fives’ best qualities, while also aggravating their worst. How much complementarity there is between these two will depend on their level of health and primary instinct. When well-suited, these two will bring out one another’s thoughtfulness, creativity, and ingenuity.


There will be an epic meeting of minds, and both will feel satiated by the connection and conversation. Fives tend to become experts in many things, most of which are usually obscure or out of the box, and two Fives together can help each other fill in the gaps in each others’ knowledge banks.


Knowledge acquisition is a Fives’ most treasured activity, and anyone who can journey down that road with them is a friend indeed. Fascination, sharing, and curiosity will be the hallmark of the healthy Five-Five meeting. This is an excellent pairing for research projects, scientific inquiry, self-examination, mapping, or theoretical exploration.


Also, two Fives will be well-suited to work together, as they will have the same needs for solitude, quiet, and space. Only another Five could understand how much a Five wants to be left alone when working. These two will also complement each other when engaged in anything analytical—they will likely feed off one another’s thought processes and uncover more profound and deeper layers with more intricately woven connections through their conversations.


For a Five, that feeling is unparalleled. These two will bond over shared intellectual interests and meaningful projects, even if they don’t share the same expertise. There will be a palpable attitude of “live and let live,” with each person granting the other space, freedom, and solitude Fives so crave.


How You Can Get Into Trouble

Even in healthy Fives, these two will likely struggle with over-intellectualizing everything: their lives, each other, world issues, movie plots. Everything.


This will only become an issue when they lose touch with their subjective reality, emotional experience, or personal needs. There is a tendency toward under-communicating, as the Five who lives in her head typically forgets to include other people in her thought process.


When together, it is likely that one or both parties will feel something is missing, namely a sense of emotional attunement. Fives can feel undervalued and emotionally stunted around one another, even while they continue to explore the far reaches of consciousness with their sharp minds. There is also a high chance these two fall into an ongoing game of teasing (belittling) and bickering over trivial facts, with each eager to “best” the other intellectually.


Conversation can become subtly or overtly competitive, with each party anxious to show off their superior knowledge. Friendly debates can wind up hurting feelings or wounding egos. In personal relationships, there’s a potential that these two never develop the emotional and spiritual bonds required to form a healthy attachment, due to both parties being so stuck in their heady analysis.


What Each Type Needs To Be Aware Of

Fives are reticent to share personal details about their lives even with their most trusted friends and lovers. In a professional environment, Fives will likely remain a mystery, and they like it that way. Fives also tend to be very non-responsive to prying questions or trivial, emotionally full conversations that drain them of energy and take too much time.


In a professional environment, Fives are best left to their own devices, with lots of uninterrupted time to focus. If these two are part of a team, regularly scheduled meetings will be imperative to remaining clued into each other’s progress: a Five will very rarely update his colleagues unprompted. In a relationship, Fives will need a lot of steady, consistent, and reliable connection before they feel safe to open up emotionally.


How You Can Support One Another

A Five feels most supported when he or she has enough time, space, and solitude to get done what they need to get done. They value autonomy and independence and abhor being made to check in or disclose their feelings gratuitously. When relating to each other, two Fives will be of most support by providing detailed analysis, intellectual stimulation, and creative thinking.


These two will feel most supported by the other in their shared love of all things mental, including the subjects they have in common, but also new areas of exploration or awareness. Keep in mind, Fives are all about knowledge acquisition and approach life with voracious curiosity, even if they manage to remain dispassionate in their pursuits.


It will be imperative to any lasting connection between these two that they develop some emotional connection, even if it’s just talking about psychological or emotional theory, although better if they can establish a genuine heartfelt connection. This can be accomplished by finding places of depth in the pre-existing context and encouraging more vulnerable or feeling-based sharing.


In A Romantic Context

In another Five, the Five has found their ideal mate. This person is thoughtful, intellectually stimulating, well-informed, independent, objective, non-intrusive, and enjoys a healthy debate. Fives abhor being controlled by others, and as a result, these two can maintain a healthy level of autonomy and independence when together.


Fives are also entirely private and dislike anyone who attempts to barge into their personal lives prematurely. A Five-Five relationship will be characterized by a slow pace and lots of privacy, wherein they might not know simple details about one another, such as the way they decorate their apartment or where they were raised, for many weeks if not months.


In each other, these two will feel a profound sense of ease that they can be precisely the way they are, as neither partner will make many demands of the other or force them to do anything that feels too foreign, like disclose personal details about their day or process emotions unjustifiably. That being said, the Five tendency is to avoid self-disclosure can impede developing healthy attachment, and while a Five might feel a strong sense of attraction or care for another person, they will very rarely vocalize their feelings.


These two will run into problems when their relationship either doesn’t ever develop an emotional component or the emotional connection halts due to increasing intellectualization. There is a danger of one or both parties becoming secretive and withdrawn as the relationship develops, and what was curious, open-minded discussions can devolve into bitter, petty arguments. When this happens, it can start to feel like they are two strangers somehow roped together, but leading double lives, separated from one another by a wall of rationality.


They may continue to share an intellectual bond, but all personal or private details about their inner world will be kept secret. The emotional distance will begin to erode any relationship that had formed between these two as they retreat further and further into their private headspace. When this happens, one or both Fives will respond by burying themselves in their work or other intellectual hobbies, and even if they live together, they will feel utterly alone in each other’s presence, continually more cut off from one another and the world.


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Max Marmer

Max Marmer is a Multidimensional Entrepreneur, Investor, Writer, Coach, Biohacker and Systems Theorist dedicated to supporting and enabling the flourishing of humanity in the 21st century.