Enneagram Type 2 - The Nurturing Advisor
Enneagram Type 2 Overview - The Nurturing Advisor - TrueSelf
Helper, Giver, Caretaker Nurturer, Advisor, Altruist, Good Samaritan
Worldview of the Type 2
You are a thoughtful, generous, warm-hearted person that strives for connection and being a helpful and personal. You love to anticipate, read and respond to the needs and concerns of others, often being of great service.
On occasion, when your own needs go unmet, you can feel unappreciated and become exhausted, depleted, and resentful. Your keys to growth include recognizing and balancing your own needs with those of others, and seeing what is truly “needed” in the present moment.
What You Are Great At
Making people feel included in a cohesive, supportive group or team.
Willingness to go beyond mere empathy and actively assist those in need.
Cheerleaders and appreciators of people.
Being sympathetic and conveying genuine and selfless care.
Anticipating others’ needs – sometimes even before they do!
Generously giving to others and serving them in times of need.
Putting your own needs to the side for the greater good.
Comforting others and staying positive when others feel down.
Flattering others and winning them over.
Helping people feel at ease due to your charming, friendly nature.
Working hard for the team (sometimes at great sacrifice to yourself).
Engaging others in worthy causes or projects with your enthusiasm.
You want to be appealing, giving, caring, and heartfelt; but most importantly, you want to feel needed. You want people to consider you important and appreciate your efforts.
You naturally pay attention to the needs and concerns of others and are ready to lend a helping hand. Under stress, you may have problems with pride, find it difficult to ask for help, and become manipulative to get attention or have your needs met. At your best, you are an empathetic, altruistic people-person that sees, intuits, and tends to others' needs.
What Drives You
You are driven to create interpersonal relationships and are motivated by a desire to be needed. By meeting others’ needs, you may secretly hope that your own needs will be met.
By taking care of others, you may desire at some level to be taken care of. You long to be loved and appreciated for who you are, to be wanted by others, and to express yourself in relationships.
Inner World of the Type 2
Your core fears are of being inherently worthless, inconsequential, irrelevant, or unwanted by others. You may also fear being rejected, not being needed, not having a role with others, being ignored, useless, or left out. Stemming from these core fears, you may fear that actually having any needs of your own may cause people to leave.
To be needed, wanted, connected, appreciated, and worthy of attention.
You need approval, recognition, and admiration. Most importantly, you want to be seen as a 'special' friend.
You go out of your way to notice what others need, and others' expressions of appreciation are your greatest motivators. Sometimes, you are so focused on others that you don't pay attention to your own unmet needs and feelings. You may feel that to have your needs met, you must first meet other's needs.
People depend on my help. It's better to give than to receive. My own needs are not as important. If I take care of you, you will take care of me.
Being the “wind beneath others’ wings”.
Relationships, closeness, and romance.
Being a supportive friend and coworker.
Making others feel good about themselves.
Being on a cohesive team.
Love, connection and harmony with others.
To be seen as enthusiastic, vivacious and cheerful.
Being seen as friendly, caring and personable.
Being seen as thoughtful and considerate.
Giving others thoughtful gifts.
Being the special one.
Solitude and impersonal dealings.
Cold, insensitive people.
Disconnection or separation from others.
Feeling disapproved of, rejected, or unappreciated.
Feeling overwhelmed, over-taxed.
Feeling obsolete or not needed.
Not feeling welcomed.
Feeling shut out when another person is suffering.
Not having a special role.
Not feeling “tuned in” to others.
Having others suddenly turn away, go cold, or stop communicating.
Outer World of the Type 2
You attend to and please others so they will appreciate and care for you. You often give even when you're empty or suffering. You repress you own needs to serve others.
Impact of Strategies
People who are important to you pay attention to you and appreciate how valuable and helpful you are.
What's Great About You
You are warm, welcoming, and establish rapport easily with others. You are emotionally demonstrative, attuned to the needs of others, and happy to be of service.t.
Attention goes to...
Your attention goes outward toward being helpful, flattering others, meeting people’s needs and finding someone who can meet your needs. You may be unaware of how much time and energy you spend giving until you feel sad that others are not able to do the same for you.
Operating System of the Type 2
At Your Best
You are cheerful, outgoing, vivacious, and sympathetic person who focuses on the concerns of others and what is needed in any given situation. You have an innate gift of listening and making people feel heard and understood. Your ability to tune in to others and sense their needs puts people at ease.
Generous in expressions of warmth, you have a way of making people feel special and important. You want to be of service and often reach out to help others.
At work, you are very welcoming and can put your own needs to the side and offer tireless support for the good of the organization or project. Your people skills and sensitivity to the needs of others make you a valuable asset to your team in the areas of trust, collaboration and support.
When your focus is so resolutely set on others, you may deny your own needs and therefore make it very difficult for them to be met in return. Your desire for appreciation can give rise to an unconscious “give to get” dynamic where you make yourself indispensable to others and may look for ways to ingratiate yourself -- not always seeing any strings that you’ve attached or ways you may try to get your needs met indirectly.
In both personal and working relationships, these habits have a way of leading to feelings of being overextended and underappreciated, as well as fostering dependence. Relying on the approval of others to feel good about yourself can lead to a loss of self-worth.
What Holds You Back
Operating from “false abundance” in your ability to meet the needs of others.
“Needing to be needed” in order to feel valuable and lovable.
Exhausting yourself trying to meet the needs of others.